As the dark mist of right-wing politics completes its descent upon Europe and America, it’s a wonder how Burgeri – (a Doha-based burger establishment), managed to get into London unscathed. After all, not only do their burgers have a foreign citizenship, but like me, their beef patties all look “suspiciously brown” too. One can only assume that in its state of moral bankruptcy, the British government carried out an excessive vetting of the Wagyu and Angus cattle that went into Burgeri’s kitchen, and only after confirming that they were not extremist “Mooslims” and had no sympathies for “Al-Coweda”, did they let Burgeri set up their flagship store on Marlborough street.

Whatever harassment they faced, it seems to have been worthwhile, as Burgeri have made some serious headway into the affections of London’s halal palate. Having had a fairly mixed experience with “fast-food-meets-gourmet” burger establishments in the past, we approached Burgeri with a certain amount of caution, and awaited to see whether they could surpass those who came before.

Note: All the meat served here is certified halal.

Food: 3.5/5

As we settled in and began looking through the menu, our waitress delivered an instant blow of bad news – there were no wagyu patties left in the kitchen. (Perhaps they hadn’t cleared “immoogration” after all). Slightly disheartened, I ordered a doubled-up B.Special instead, and found the Angus patties within to be small and sightly dry, but pleasantly soft and well-seasoned. Together with the soft potato buns, they meshed in seamlessly with the generous helping of cheese and “burgeri sauce”, and delivered a good depth of flavour. The result? A simple burger that was perfectly satisfying, but in no way mind-blowing.

B.Special (£7.60)

Steak meanwhile, had ordered a B. Guacamole, which, unsurprisingly, contained a generous dollop of guacamole as a substitute sauce. The strong, earthy flavours managed to cut through the entire burger, and its creamy texture added moisture throughout. Whilst the two burgers proved to be very similar, the guacamole gave Steak’s burger the winning edge.

B. Guacamole (£9.50) *Recommended*

Unsatisfied with our cholesterol levels, we had also ordered a portion of cheesy fries to top up the damage. The fries themselves were soft and sightly crispy, whilst the sticky cheese added a good amount of salty, savoury power, without turning the whole thing into an overbearing mess. We also tried Burgeri’s fresh lemonade, which carried a strong, sharp and sour tang that was both refreshing and punchy.

Say cheese.

Value For Money: 2.5/5

The B. Special costs £5.50 / £7.60 as a single / double, whilst the B.Guacamole costs £7.50 / £9.50 as a single/double. Together with our cheesy fries (£3.50), fresh lemonade (£3.25), and introductory “two-for-one patty” offer, this amounted to a discounted bill of £19.75. Generally, burgers range from £5-£10, (depending on whether you order a single or double), and sides and drinks range from £3 to £5. Whilst the prices aren’t particularly high, it must be noted that Burgeri’s patties, (and as a result, their burgers), are rather small. As such, I have my doubts that a single patty burger would satisfy anyone other than a small child, whilst the double patty burgers seem to be a little expensive for the amount of “burger” that you are likely to receive.

Service: 4/5

Considering the fast-food-meets-gourmet set-up, we weren’t expecting very much in terms of service. To our surprise however, the staff members at Burgeri were incredibly welcoming and attentive, and patrolled the restaurant to ensure that all was well. Service is also exceptionally speedy, and you can expect to receive your burgers in as little time as it will take for you to get through them. (Unless you run a photo shoot like we do beforehand).

Venue/Decor: 4/5

As mentioned, Burgeri is located on Marlborough Street, (a five minute walk away from Oxford Circus station), and the space it occupies is open, airy and modern. The decor certainly carries a little more style than one would expect, with a mixture of wooden and marble tables that are surrounded by respectively colour-matched leather booths. Overall, there’s enough room to swing a cat holding on to another cat, which makes it all the more disappointing that you can’t really inflate yourself to an ungodly size with just one burger. After all, the goal of any burger venture is to see whether you can crush your fellow diners and block the exit on your way out.

Atmosphere: 3.5/5

Whilst the spacious layout may be underutilised in the physical sense, it does well to create a comfortable, casual and claustrophobia-free environment. Provided you don’t visit on a busy Friday evening, you can feel free to sit back and relax in as much personal space as you should desire. 

Overall: 3.5/5

When it comes to burgers, London has, for years, been dominated by the ruling class of thick, meaty, gourmet patties. As a traditional man who values quality above all else and looks down upon all things instant, fast-food and frozen, I have always approved of this fact. Recently however, we have seen the emergence of a new, hybrid class of burgers, often referred to as “gourmet-fast-food”, and it’s one that has completely blurred the lines for elitist burger enthusiasts like myself. However, with the arrival of Burgeri, I am beginning to understand what this new breed of burger is, and why it is proving to be so popular.

Truth be told, there is nothing magical about Burgeri’s burgers. There are no earth-shattering flavours, no innovative formulations, and if you have a bear’s appetite, there is no way on Earth that their diminutive size would appease your grizzly stomach, or your frowning mental-accountant. But, should you choose to pay them a visit, you can expect to find a burger that is both humble and honest. Whilst other burger establishments seek to transform the horizon, Burgeri aims to work within it, and by sticking to this sense of familiarity, they manage to deliver a simple sense of satisfaction, using nothing but the bare-minimum. Whilst I won’t be rushing to return anytime soon, I can honestly say that as far as “gourmet-fast-food” burgers go, Burgeri may have just set the standard, and given clarity to what this paradoxical term actually means.

Burgeri
Address: 22 Great Marlborough Street, Soho, London W1F 7HU
Telephone: 020 3597 3570
Website: http://www.burgeri.co.uk/